Life in a Bed and Breakfast is written by a guy living in Vancouver, BC who, with his partner, operates the Nelson House Bed & Breakfast. The first blog post that I came across on this beautifully-written blog was called "The Opposite of People-Friendly" and was posted on October 8, 2012. Please take a few moments to check it out before reading the rest of my blog posting.
Life in a Bed and Breakfast
Okay, here we go. So after reading this posting, I remembered a conversation that I had while visiting my old college campus the other day. I took a (very) early lunch break to stop by and see Rick Santorum speak, simply to see how people at my small liberal arts school reacted to him. Now, for those of you who don't know, Lenoir-Rhyne has an incredible Gay-Straight Alliance, and has spent a long time cultivating an environment of love and acceptance, what they have dubbed a "Safe Zone." Rick Santorum, who is openly against gay rights, is seen as someone who pretty much goes against any sort of "Safe Zone" that L-R has worked to establish. However, I respect the fact that L-R is open to allowing both sides to be heard on campus, something that University President Dr. Wayne Powell stated while opening the morning. This time, it just happened to be a side of social issues that I don't particularly agree with.
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| Rick Santorum speaks at Lenoir-Rhyne in favor of early voting and the support of Presidential candidate Mitt Romney. |
Although many people supported Mr. Santorum's speech (which was advocating for having a voice during the election as well as proclaiming support for Presidential candidate Mitt Romney and never mentioned his belief on gay rights), many members of the Gay-Straight Alliance waved flags and held signs proclaiming their disagreement with Mr. Santorum's views. While I was standing on the outskirts of the crowd of students, I overheard one girl say that the gay flag being waved was making her "uncomfortable." I respectfully turned to her, and asked her very simply, "Why?" She then explained that she was from a southern Baptist family, and that she was brought up believing against gay rights and considered herself sort of homophobic. I thought about this for a moment, and then kindly said to her, "Just because you're uncomfortable doesn't make you homophobic...It just means that you were raised believing in something different, and what you're seeing is unknown to you. As long as you are open to the beliefs of others and don't condemn or judge them because of their sexual orientation makes you alright in my book." She then told me that she had a good friend who was gay, and that she didn't see her any different. Her statements told me what I had initially believed: she wasn't homophobic, she just wasn't sure of how to react.
In my opinion, a phobia is a crippling fear. Arachnophobia, the fear of spiders, is a fear so intense that the person almost shuts down. It's a debilitating fear that makes the person unable to perform the most mundane and general tasks. Which brings me back to what people call "homophobia." This girl wasn't homophobic...she was just uninformed. She wasn't raised with a love and tolerance of people who were gay, but she didn't stand around condemning them either. She was simply uncomfortable with the unknown.
Just because you do not share the same beliefs as someone doesn't mean that you have any right to judge them. I have to commend my boyfriend for this, because he is a great example of what I am talking about. He was raised Catholic, and his mom worked at their local parish for more than a decade. The Catholic Church wholeheartedly believes in the sanctity of marriage between a man and a woman, and are pushing for a constitutional amendment protecting what they believe is the only acceptable marriage. My boyfriend joined a fraternity in college, and I am proud to say that many of their members are openly gay. Many of them also happen to be very, very close friends of mine. Instead of looking down on the gay members of his fraternity, Brian sees them as simply what they are: his brothers. They all joke around about it, but at the end of the day, their sexuality is not what defines them in Brian's mind; their brotherhood does.
This brings me back to Life in a Bed and Breakfast. The way these people acted is an absolute disgrace. The owners of this B & B opened their homes and their hearts in welcome, and instead of being grateful, their welcome was not only turned down, but run over by an 18-wheeler. However, their reaction is inspiring. The post ends with the phrase, "Don't be a hater at all. Life is way too short to have death-bed regrets." Instead of hating on the people (which I know I sure as heck would have!), he instead advocated tolerance and love. Now THAT, my friends, is an inspirational blog posting.
So please remember, someone is not defined by their sexuality but by their personality. Yes, their sexual orientation is a part of them, but it isn't who they are any more than my sexual orientation is who I am. I am an artist, a music-lover, a volunteer, a hard worker, a writer, and a crazy mess. I'm 1/2 of a great, loving, accepting relationship. And yes. I'm straight. But who cares?
Instead of seeing someone's sexual orientation, instead see their accomplishments and their personality. Just because someone is different from you doesn't mean that you should judge them. Instead, learn from them. Preach acceptance and love, not ignorance and hate. If you have judged people in the past, wake up tomorrow and know that it is a brand new day.
“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.” Paulo Coelho
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