Finding the Right Words

I have to admit, I haven't had the heart to blog the past two days. I have always said that I express myself better through words, but that just hasn't seemed to be the case this time, so please bear with me. Yesterday, I received a phone call that no one ever wants to receive.

My former boss messaged me on Facebook and asked me to call her as soon as I could. After I finished up the project that I was working on, I phoned her to ask what was up. Her voice just sort of said, "This isn't good." She proceeded to tell me that one of our local doctors, who happened to have been my doctor growing up as well as the father of a very dear friend from middle and high school, was rumored to have been killed in a car accident Monday evening. I think she was hoping as much as I was that it would turn out to be just that; a rumor. After an hour or two, however, the fact that this wasn't going to turn out to be a rumor had sunken in.

To say that I was in shock was an understatement. As a 22 year old, I know that loss comes to those who you least expect, and to those who often least deserve it. However, having graduated from high school just over four years ago, reconciling with a loss such as this was absolutely devastating. I can't begin to imagine the grief that my friend and her family are experiencing, but I know for a fact that they are not in this loss alone.

Dr. David Wheeler was an essential part of our small town. Not only did he have a private practice, but he was also on the staff of the Highlands-Cashiers Hospital for more than 20 years. After hearing about his accomplishments and hobbies, one would never guess that he was in a wheelchair stemming from a motorcycle accident in the 90s that left him partially paralyzed. Many people would have simply given up, but not Dr. David. Instead of letting his accident derail his life, he had wheelchair-accomodating additions made to his office and went back to work, both at his practice and at the hospital.

I still remember the first time that I ever stayed over at Dr. David's house. Sally, his daughter, and I were in the same grade at school and wanted to spend the night together. Dr. David said of course, as long as it was okay with my parents. So as we're all sitting in the kitchen, he hands me the phone to call my mom. I get her on the line and as I'm asking her if it's okay, Dr. David yells in the background, "MAKE SURE SHE KNOWS YOU'RE STAYING WITH A CRIPPLE!" His humor and smile never left him, and were a constant joy to everyone who came into contact with him. Not only did he love spending his time watching Sally and her younger brother Samuel compete in athletics, he was constantly doing something, like working out at the gym in town or taking the boat to the lake.

I have taken the extra time to reflect back on the incredible moments that I got to spend with Dr. David. The picture of me as a toddler sitting on his lap at his office, hanging out at his house and on the lake, driving his Audi to pick up Sally in Scaly Mountain one night, and the time that he came home late from the hospital and Sally and I had fallen asleep in the living room watching a movie but after the movie it changed to pornography and we woke up having to give a very awkward explanation...I remember the breakfast of Pop-Tarts or pancakes and the dinners of pizza or grilled cheese. I remember sitting at his computer desk with Sally and calling to tell my mom that I wasn't taking the PSAT for some reason that I can't even remember making up, but the real reason was that we had stayed up too late the night before. I will always recall each memory with a huge smile on my face and a warm place in my heart.

Even though I can't imagine the sadness that his family feels, I am pretty sure that I speak for our entire community when I say that we each feel the loss of Dr. David in a monumental way. There are some people who come into this world and do more for others during their short time than many of us could do in ten lifetimes. I truly believe that Dr. Wheeler will be missed by not just our community, but by people across the country who had the blessing of meeting him.

"It is better to have a meaningful life and make a difference than to merely have a long life." Bryant H. McGill 

It's is these times more than ever that we realize how truly short and sweet life is. I have spoken more with some of my classmates and friends from high school in the past two days than I have in the past two years. The times that we spent together were an absolute blessing, and I will cherish them always. I don't think I'll ever live down calling Michael and admitting that maybe, just maybe, I didn't hate him...not even close. Looking back on high school and these memories makes them feel as though they happened yesterday. Somedays, I wish they had.

"It is not length of life, but depth of life." Ralph Waldo Emerson

If you're reading this, please take the time to re-connect with me, or with your long-lost friends in general. I know we hear it all the time, but you never really understand how much your relationship with someone means until you don't have it any more. If I could re-live some of my days in high school, I would. The friends that became more like family and the laughs that we had until we cried. I can't believe how far we have all come in four short years.

There are two things which are guaranteed to us in life: birth and death. We are born as equals and die as the same. It's not our birth or death that makes us who we are. It's what we do between the two.