How to survive the real world

So for those of you who don't know, this blog is detailing my life as I transition from a college student to an adult. Or at least into the adult world. It has been five months since I graduated from college, and I have learned a lot so far. 

Here are a few things I've learned so far! 

Laundry: Oh laundry. It's an incredibly important thing to learn when you grow up. Luckily for me, I've been doing laundry since I was a kid. Relying on my mom to wash the clothes I wanted to wear wasn't exactly going as planned, so I took it upon myself to guarantee I was dressed the way I wanted to. (Looking back, I may regret that decision...oh well.) I think the best thing to remember when doing laundry is that some things have very specific instructions, some things shrink, and some things bleed. Do not wash deep colors (purples, reds, bright blues, etc.) with things that easily absorb other colors (whites, light grays, etc.). However, if you are reading this after the fact, there is still hope. Check out this site that I've found extremely helpful! 

Laundry Disasters

• Another cool piece of knowledge is how to remove sweat stains. I learned this from Pinterest, and it definitely works. Remember to test a small area of the clothing first to make sure that it doesn't damage the fabric! Mix blue Dawn dish soap with hydrogen peroxide. Use a toothbrush or scrub brush to apply the mixture onto the stain. Scrub. Allow the mixture to sit for about 30 minutes, and then wash as normal, but do not wash with other items. After washing is complete, remove item and check stain. You may have to repeat this process a few times before the stain is completely gone. 

Cleaning: Let's all be honest. Cleaning sucks. No one really wants to spend an entire afternoon picking up around the house. So what's the solution? Making sure your house never gets that messy in the first place! When you get something out, remember to put it back. Every time you walk from one room to another, pick up one or two things that don't belong and put them back in their place. Keeping your house or apartment generally tidy will reduce the amount of time it takes to clean up. If you don't want to spend a lot on cleaning products, check out homemade alternatives! 

• For shower cleaning, mix vinegar and Dawn dish soap in a dish scrubber (the ones with the handles that allow you to pour soap into them). When you're about to take a shower, scrub down the tub and tile before you get in, and then rinse it while you're in the shower. Just be careful not to slip!
• To unclog drains, mix 1 cup of salt and 1/2 cup of baking soda together and pour down a drain, followed by a few cups of boiling water. Baking soda and white vinegar also helps do the trick. 
• When using candles to perfume a room, place the candles in the freezer for a few hours before burning. The cold will keep the wax at a lower temperature, extending the amount of time before it begins to melt and allowing your candles to last longer. 
• Use a window squeegee to remove pet hair from carpets, couches, and cloth-covered surfaces. 
• Use peppermint oil to keep mice away and bay leaves to keep roaches out. 

Cooking: Even though I love cooking, there are times when I would much rather just come home and relax than have to worry about preparing a meal. For those times, I am so happy that I invested in a crock pot. There are so many recipes for all sorts of meals that you can find on Pinterest for your crock pot. Some of my favorite are:

• Pot Roast
• Breakfast apple pie oatmeal
• Rosemary Olive Oil Bread
• Beef Stroganoff
• Cooked Ham
• Whole Chicken
• Apple Sauce
• Cherry Almond Oat Meal
• Chicken Taco Chili
• Chicken Noodle Soup
• Fondu
• Baked Apples

These are just a few of my faves! The link for Fondu is from a blog that chronicles 365 days of crock pot food. I'm not sure I could go that far, but you should definitely check it out!

Budgets: This has probably been the hardest one that I have had to deal with, but I have a few tips that have really helped me! If you have a smart phone, download an app that allows you to keep track of your bank balance on your phone, and sign up for alerts when you have a low balance to prevent you from over draft fees. Apps such as Mint allow you to keep track of your purchases by category, showing you where you spent most of your money that month. Keep track of how often you eat out, and try and reduce that number. Eating out is really expensive, and I've had to seriously cut back on Starbucks to keep my budget in line. Shop at discount grocery stores such as Aldi for cooking basics. More often than not, Aldi's prices come in far below those at Walmart and other grocery stores. Something else that I did was pay for a subscription to Sam's Club. Now, buying in bulk isn't always a good idea, but I did my research and used my membership to purchase things such as toilet paper, paper towels, and cleaning supplies that wouldn't go bad and that I could use for a long time. It definitely made it worth it, especially after I used all of my gift cards that they gave me. Always check for discounts you may qualify for! Also, clip coupons! You can use apps, online, or your local newspaper. Some stores even double your coupons, so always do your research!

Maintenance: When you move to a new town, you will need to find a dentist, doctor, pharmacy, car repair shop, beauty salon, plumber, etc. Always make sure to call around and not only get quotes on work you want done, but also ask for recommendations of places from coworkers. Some towns, such as Hickory, have a nice added bonus called the Women's Resource Center. A place primarily for helping out women in the community, the WRC offers a list of reliable home maintenance and general working contact information for people who are new to the area. Never be afraid to ask for a second opinion when having work done on things such as your home or car. Shopping around can save you a lot of money!

What have you guys learned about being in the real world now (for those of you who have graduated at least!)? Have I left out something huge? Probably. COMMENT AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU'VE LEARNED!

Gay rights vs. racial discrimination

Oh yeah. I went there. Like I have said many times before, I don't care if you are black, white, gay, straight, or pink with purple polkadots. I see everyone equally and base my opinions of people on their actions and their personality.

I realize that some people base their opinions on their religion, and I respect that. If you chose to dislike someone based solely on something they can't control, that is your business, but I will not share in that opinion. It is my belief that all of us were created exactly the way we are, including our race and our sexual orientation.

For those of you who have heard about the civil rights movement, I'm sure you can observe a a high level of similarity between the hatred towards people of different races in the 1960's and the hatred towards equal rights for same-sex couples that has been a very talked-about issue lately.

Please someone explain the difference between these two photos to me, because aside from the difference of 50 years, I don't really see it. It's groups of people asking to be accepted for who they are. I truly believe that in 50 years we will look back and think, why were we so hateful? Why the discrimination? Why the lack of love? Why the anger? 

I have seen first-hand the effects of people who judge without knowing anything about the person and the lasting trauma that it leaves. It's not about disagreeing with someone being different from you, it's about disagreeing in a respectful manner that shows respect for both people. Just because you disagree with someone in terms of homosexuality (or something else) doesn't mean that gives you the right to condemn them, judge them, say insulting things, or treat them any differently than you would someone else. 

I understand that what I'm saying is probably one of the biggest disagreements of our time. Discrimination based on sexual orientation is something that we see all the time, whether we realize it or not. We call people names like "faggot" when we are joking, without realizing that for some, the name-calling isn't meant as a joke. The term "gay" takes on a whole new meaning. Instead of meaning "happy or gleeful" it now means something derogatory or mean when applied in most instances. I know we all have probably said it one time or another, but now is the time to stop. Realize what you are saying and how it can hurt someone, and chose to live your life promoting peace and love, not hate and fear. 

Now, I say fear only because they have a little thing called "homophobia." I've talked about my fears before. Spiders, plunks, showers, the usual. But homophobia? What, you're scared that it's a disease you can catch? That someone who is gay is automatically going to hit on you against your will? In my opinion, homophobia doesn't exist. You aren't scared. You're an asshole. Just because you disagree with someone doesn't give you the right to attack their beliefs any more than it gives them the right to judge you based on your decisions. 

I know a lot of people are probably disagreeing with me saying to themselves, well, I guess we know Amanda isn't a Christian. I find that funny, especially because one, I am an Episcopalian (yes, that means I'm a Christian) and two, because a lot of the gay guys I know are more religious than any other of my friends. No really. They go to church way more than I do. So instead, why don't you call ME anti-Christian instead of them? 

So back to square one for a minute. Why discriminate at all? Really, what's the point? We had a lot of very interesting discussions my senior year of college about all of the discrimination that truly happens. I'll be the first to admit that I don't really know a damn thing about being discriminated against. Atticus Finch once said, "If you just learn a single trick, Scout, you'll get along a lot better with all kinds of folks. You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view... Until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it." It's true. I don't know what it's like to be judged for being gay. I don't know what it's like for people to assume things about me because of my skin color. The only thing I really have going against me is that I'm a ginger! Not really hard-news kinda stuff there, people. 

But I do know one thing, and it's that it is never too late to change. I was a lucky kid. I grew up in a family that radiated acceptance and love towards all people, no matter their race, color, sexual orientation, or religious preference. Ultimately, these things do not define a person. They are merely parts that make up the whole. What defines us is what we chose to do with our lives. Character is how we treat those who can do nothing for us. 

"Integrity means doing the right thing, even when no one is watching." C.S. Lewis

So this week I challenge you to something. Think about someone that you have passed judgement on without getting to know them. In our day and age, it shouldn't be hard. Talk to them. Find out what they think defines them, because I guarantee it's not what you think. Instead of fearing people who are different from you, look them in the eye with the respect that they deserve. I'm sure at the end of the day, you'll be glad that you did. 

As for me, I wouldn't be nearly the person I am today without all of my friends, the ones people have passed judgement on, who accepted me for who I was because I accepted them. According to my gay friends, if all else fails, I'll have the best decorated house and be the best dressed one in my neighborhood when I grow up. 

Protecting our children: Whose job is it?

For many parents and caretakers of children, attempting to protect them from some of the harsh realities of our world is a very important issue. It has been debated and argued that the government is responsible for restricting what websites, television shows, movies, and video games should be able to project to viewers.

But where does the responsibility truly lie?

So many parents believe that what is on television should be regulated because their children are going to see things that they shouldn't. But should that restrict the rest of the people who are not parents of young children, or who aren't parents at all who want to watch explicit shows or purchase video games? In my opinion (and let me remind you, I am not a parent, but did grow up in a time where video games were and still are prevalent, and have acted as a nanny for children under the age of 10 for multiple years), I think that parents need to take a much more preventative approach to what their children are exposed to.

If and when I have children, I realize that it is no one's responsibility but mine to regulate what they are exposed to in my home. It is my responsibility to keep in close contact with the parents of my child's friends to ensure that my views and restrictions are known and respected. It is my responsibility to teach my child about sex early enough that he or she is not learning more from uneducated classmates or sexually explicit movies and television shows than they are from his or her own mother and father. I think that too often, sex is made out to be something that is "inappropriate" and "obscene." Children need to understand where they come from and need to hear about it from their parents first, so that they can ask any question and receive an honest answer in line with the beliefs that their parents decide to share with them. If sex is something that is respected and treated with a sense of dignity and responsibility, not only have you better educated your child and anyone that he or she chooses to share their opinion with, but you have also created a more respectful potential partner for someone later down the line.

If I don't want my child to be able to access inappropriate content, then I will not provide smart phones, a personal computer, or unrestricted television access. I refuse to have a child that is under the age of ten and spending most of his or her time locked in their room playing video games or surfing the internet. I will explain my choices to my child, the parents that my child interacts with, as well as the parents of my children's friends. If other parents cannot conform to the standards that I have set for raising my child, then my child will not be left in the care of another parent. Their child will be free to interact with my child in my home under my rules. My child will not have unrestricted access to Facebook or social media or the internet in general. I will use passwords, time restrictions, and the appropriate location of technological devices to ensure that my standards are met.

Although the amount of technology that children have access to is incredibly more vast than I could have imagined as a child, that also means that the amount of technology that parents have access to has also increased. If you do not want your child playing inappropriate games on a gaming console, do not purchase the games, and have open and honest conversations about your feelings with your child. I think that having a child who is afraid to tell you something is a failed relationship. Talk about sex before kids feel awkward discussing it with you. Talk about bullying, issues with race that they may encounter, drugs, choices that they will have to make, discussions other kids may have with them.

I respect the opinions of other parents to teach their children that they should not have sex before marriage, period. I, however, will teach my child that the topic of sex will absolutely be something that they face making a decision on before marriage, and that they should make informed, educated decisions about their actions. Knowing how to prevent unwanted pregnancy and diseases is the first step in educating children against these things. Kids are just that, kids. They get into situations that they are unprepared for, such as sex before marriage, and make ill-informed decisions because they don't know any better. Having realistic expectations for your child is incredibly important in my opinion.

Don't make your child scared to talk to you. Create open lines of communications without fear of punishment. If a child has a question about sex, make sure that he or she is comfortable enough to come to YOU about it, not someone else that is telling them God-only-knows what. If my child is intimidated or embarrassed to talk to me about something, then I have failed in creating open lines of communication and that is unacceptable to me. Despite how awkward a conversation may be, I would much rather accept the awkwardness than have my child being educated about something important by someone who may not share the same approach that I do.

I will teach my child to respect others no matter what their views. They are allowed to disagree, because having your own opinion is your right, but they must do so in a respectful way, and with the knowledge that not everyone was raised in the same way that they were. I will tell my child that just because someone is different from them, doesn't make either person better than the other. People were made differently so that we can learn about our differences with respect and not hatred. I don't care if someone is black, white, gay, straight, republican, democratic, catholic, baptist, or an anarchist; everyone is equal in my eyes and that will be what I preach to my children.

It is my responsibility as a parent to teach and nurture my child. Teachers are merely an added resource. It is not their job to teach my child about sex or manners, it is my responsibility as their parent. I have seen so many parents that have essentially failed at parenting. They have produced disrespectful, dishonest, rude, and immature children, and released them on the world without a care. Children who watch Family Guy and R rated movies under the age of 10. Children who curse at adults because they have never been reprimanded or taught otherwise. The blame lies with these parents. When you chose to reproduce, you need to realize the responsibilities that come with your decision and stop trying to push the responsibility onto others.

Courage

It takes a lot of courage to face something you're not sure about. It takes heart, and love, and desire to be the bigger person. Today I had that moment, but I wasn't the bigger person. Someone who read one of my blog postings messaged me and told me that one of my postings had meant a lot to her.

I'm not going to use names, but this girl and I weren't exactly best friends in college (for one big, annoying reason). Fortunately for me, she had the courage and faith to message me and to be the bigger person, and I commend and respect her so much for that.

Struggling with something is nothing to be ashamed about, and I think people are encouraged to realize that sometimes their struggles are shared by more people than they ever realize. I believe that we are each put in this world for a reason. This girl is beautiful, strong, and going to make an incredible difference in our world; she has already made an incredible difference in mine by her kind words today.

Sometimes, the words we need to hear the most come from the place we least expect. At least that's how it happened for me today.

So always remember: "You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." & "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

So to the beautiful, caring, smart, kind, talented and brave woman who spoke to me today from the heart. Thank you. I hope that you continue to grow and realize that nothing can hold you back if you believe in yourself. Don't let your past (and our past) dictate your future. Smile when you remember the choices you've made, because at one time, they were exactly what you wanted. Each choice has turned you into who you are today, and the only thing that matters now is where you choose to go from here.

Breaking rule # 37

Okay so the 37 part was made up, but just go on this adventure with me.

Now, I'm not one who personally enjoys talking politics. I'm normally the one who listens to everyone around me and periodically interjects some sort of washy opinion, but only when I know that I'm right. Most of the people that I am friends with are fairly knowledgeable in the political realm, so I try and just learn (Bart, Billy, etc.). So today is going to be a fairly large leap for me. I'm going to talk politics.

I keep hearing people say that "you young people are so impressionable" and that we are easily swayed in terms of believing what candidates say in an election year. They paint us as uninformed and easily persuaded by issues that are, I'll use the term "lower level issues," meaning that they aren't a top priority for the majority of voters.

There are quite a few things that I have strong opinions on, and one of them happens to be education. As a recent graduate about to start paying back my college loans, I am well aware of the fact that I am in some serious student debt. Not nearly as much as I could be in, but because I chose to go to a private university, I incurred more debt than I would have if I had chosen to attend a state school. However, with that decision I accepted the fact that I would be incurring more student loan debt.

Here is the kicker that is going to offend some people, but please understand that I encourage you to disagree with me (kindly and respectfully!), either to yourself or publicly on the comments section of my blog.

I do not think that going to college is a right. Some people just aren't cut out for a four-year university, which is why we have trade schools for things such as cosmetics, culinary school, automotive school, etc. Neither of my parents completed four year degrees, and they have been two incredibly successful people. My mom has owned two small businesses, a book store and a cabin rental company (www.nc-cabins.com, FYI), as well as serving as an advertising director for the Sun Sentinel and Boca Magazine in south Florida for several years. She has also done work for the in-flight magazines that airlines produce. My dad has been everything from a real-estate agent to a wine connoisseur to the owner of his own homebuilding company (www.scalymountainbuilders.com). They are hardworking individuals who made their own success without a four year degree, but instead with a dedication to hard work.

One of my biggest frustrations in college were the students who came to class and slept because they didn't want to be there but were being forced to by their parents. I think that if a student wants to attend college, that they will find a way through scholarships, part-time jobs, loans, and grants. I think that the best way to put it is this: Let's say that I wanted to go to Harvard, and because colleges were made so much easier to get into, I was accepted. Now, I'm not smart enough to go to Harvard based on today's standards, and I'm completely okay with that. However, if Harvard were to start admitting people at four or five times the rate that they do now (which is currently 5.9%, the lowest of the Ivey Leagues, followed by Yale at 6.8%, Columbia at 7.4%, and Princeton at 7.9%), the name "Harvard" and the distinguished honor that comes with being a graduate of an Ivey League would be lost. Harvard and these other schools are in the class that they are because of their incredibly low acceptance rates.

I think that instead of pushing high education, our government should instead focus on making the years that we are in grade school more focused and more educational. Give students options to take trade-related classes, such as the ones taught at my high school. Drafting, construction, etc. Put more funding into finding well-trained and better paid educators, instead of making the salaries for the people helping to mold the minds of future generations so low that it's a miracle that anyone majors in education any more. The bottom line is that we need teachers who are not only passionate, but who are well trained and well equipped to deal with some of the problems that we are seeing in schools. Give teachers a reason to put in the extra time and dedication to helping students, but be realistic about the expectations. There are always going to be drop-out rates. Instead of making students want to drop out of high school, make them want to attend classes that they actually enjoy. Don't make students take four years of government history when their true passion is fixing a transmission. Teach them the basics on how to make it in our world and then teach them something they can be proud of doing.

When I was in high school, I knew two students who dropped out because education just wasn't their thing. One went on to become a chef, and he is so talented. Instead of making classes boring, make them about what students want to learn about. I loved my liberal arts education because it truly gave me a small taste of everything. I found what I wanted to do and nothing could stop me. That's a passion, right there. Doing something you love and being paid to do it. Whether you love cooking, fixing cars, writing, drawing, sewing, or molecular physics, you should be able to enjoy your passion while being encouraged, not discouraged.

Having a trade school degree is one of the most admirable things, in my opinion. Our country wouldn't survive without people who pursued alternative forms of education, and I think that instead of making people feel like a four year degree is essential for success, make people proud of their accomplishments no matter what they are.

...politicking done.

Confessions!

I figured that a bit more getting to know me wasn't a bad idea, so here we go!

50 things that you probably don't know about me:

• I come from a family of Greeks. My dad was a Pi Kappa Alpha at the University of Florida, and my grandpa was a Lambda Chi Alpha at Brown University Check out the announcement in the Brown newspaper!
• I have broken two bones in my life: my collarbone and my foot
• I am the only grandchild on both sides of my family
• I attended BMW driving school in 2006
• I am obsessed with groundhogs

• I passed my drivers education test the first time
• I have mild Celiac's disease
• I could live off of Olive Garden's Chicken & Gnocchi soup
• I work for the company that makes the tape that Scotland Yard uses for fingerprint collection. Boo-yah!
• I'm addicted to coffee

• I'm "in the middle" in terms of politics according to a test I took last night. I'm "very republican" in terms of economic issues and "very liberal" in terms of social issues
• I took French all throughout high school and two years in college
• I'm terrified of cockroaches (plunks!) and palmetto bugs

• I can name all of the presidents of the United States in order (I used to be able to name them in reverse order, too)
• I'm terrible at math
• I'm the tallest one in my mom's immediate family
• I have two uncles. One is a fisherman and the other is a lawyer
• I did ballet, tap, and jazz for eight years growing up
• I love 80's movies like Top Gun, The Big Chill, Back to the Future, Field of Dreams, Ghostbusters, The Breakfast Club, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Pretty in Pink, Dirty Dancing, and The Princess Bride. Yeah. I love me some 80's movies.

• I played soccer, golf, and volleyball as a kid
• If I could have any job in the world, it would be working PR with animal shelters or some sort of animal-related non-profit
• I have two dogs, and both are rescues
• My hair and my eyes are the same color
• I hate wearing make-up
• I attended an all-girls camp in the mountains of North Carolina for two years as a kid
• I was home-schooled in 5th grade
• My high school graduating class was 28 people
• I only wash my hair every other day
• Unlike most people, I am scared of LITTLE dogs, not big dogs
• I am more scared of spiders than opossums, because spiders can jump on me without me noticing. If an opossum jumps on you, you're gonna know it

• I have two piercings and one tattoo: my ears and my nose, and a heart on my wrist
• Five things I always keep in my purse: my phone, jewelry, a tape measure, colored pens, and a snack
• I can use power tools better than most boys, because my dad taught me as a kid
• I have a few interesting scars: my right thigh from a piece of glass, my left wrist from a cat scratch, my left thumb from a power drill, and above my eye from my mom's dog as a kid
• I had glasses and braces during middle school (it wasn't a good few years for me, let's be honest)
• I'm allergic to bees, penicillin, and Pepto-Bismol...and wheat and gluten, and pollen, and some types of mold
• I have a stuffed animal named Commander Bun-Bun...but dad calls him Ted
• I freak out if I lose my planner, because it's my life
• I keep all of my fortunes from my fortune cookies in my wallet
• I didn't get my ears pierced until my 13th birthday
• I've always had the same car: a 2005 Honda CR-V named Schnürsenkel, which is German for "shoelace"

• Growing up, I wanted to be a vet or a lawyer
• Random things on my desk at work: a juju doll, security tape, five note pads and a variety of stick note sizes
• I'm a Mac-only person
• I am a morning person. Once I'm awake, I'm awake
• I can change a tire and check my oil by myself 
• I'm scared of the dark and of being home alone
• I love Food Network
• I love to read. Some of my favorite books are Of Mice and Men, The Rule of Four, A Time to Kill, The Cider House Rules, A Catcher in the Rye, Harry Potter, To Kill a Mockingbird, and anything by Kathy Reichs and Sarah Andrews

Self Confidence (I miss my cheating ex boyfriend)

Said no rational person ever, including this girl.

Of course, as in the case with almost any relationship, there is a mourning period. Then you move on to better things. Nicer things. Things that are employed and going places with their life.

I personally have continued to grow and mature throughout the course of my relationships, and they have helped make me the person that I am today. So while some people dread seeing their exes, I rejoice. It's a moment that I can say, hey, I'm better, stronger, smarter, and heck, even prettier than I was when I was with you, so thanks. Thanks for helping me move on and grow up.

Everyone should have self confidence. It's a kick-in-the-butt to every person who ever thought you wouldn't make it when you stand taller and prouder than ever before. It's just like being a kid on the playground and being picked on. Nothing says "I'm better than you" than being happy about who you are. Sometimes, we need to fall before we can rise again. You must reach rock bottom before soaring into the clouds. You must reach that moment of hearing people say you can't do something, then standing up, brushing yourself off, and telling them to kiss it. Don't let anyone define who you are.

When I was a junior in college, my advisor told me that I would never make it in the real world. It took a lot of hard work and more strength than I ever knew I had, but a year and a half later, I graduated with honors and am now working full time in a job that I love that falls within my major. So ha. Take that. Don't let anyone tell you who you have to be or what you can't do (within reason...and within the scope of the law).

It has taken a long time, but I have come to realize that my happiness it not defined by anyone but me. I chose whether or not to put my feet on the ground in the morning with a smile on my face. I chose whether or not to let the opinions of others dictate how I live my life. Success is hard work. If it wasn't, everyone would do it.

Whenever someone asks me for advice in a "well, what would you do?" situation, I always remind them that my decision doesn't matter. I don't have to look at myself in the mirror each morning and live with their decision. They do. You must chose to live your life for your happiness, not the happiness of others. There are going to be people who try and judge you. Why? Because they have nothing better to do with their lives than judge others. Take a deep breath and remember that they aren't you. Their opinions are based on fleeting judgements made without taking the time to get to know you.

My advice? Surround yourself with love. Find the people who appreciate you for who you are. Whether it's an obsession with groundhogs or a fear of plunks, I know that I have an incredible group of friends and family who will love and support me no matter what. Sure, they may laugh at me every now and then, but I know that they do it with love.

Be weird. Be unique. Be confident. Be abstract. Be smart. Be crazy. Be artistic. Be adventurous. 

Be funny. Be talented. Be athletic. Be gay. Be emotional. 

Be yourself. 

So this weekend, when I see my former boyfriend and his new fiancé, I can smile, laugh, and know that there is no place I would rather be than where I am right now.

I'll leave you with an incredible poem that is close to my heart.

Dream Big

author unknown

If there were ever a time to dare, 

To make a difference

To embark on something worth doing

It is now.

Not for any grand cause, necessarily – 

But for something that tugs at your heart

Something that is worth your aspiration

Something that is your dream.

You owe it to yourself

To make your days count.

Have fun. Dig deep. Stretch.

Dream big.

Know, though,

That things worth doing

Seldom come easy.

There will be times when you want to

Turn around

Pack it up and call it quits.

Those times tell you

That you are pushing yourself

And that you are not afraid to learn by trying.

Persist.

Because with an idea,

Determination and the right tools,

You can do great things.

Let your instincts, your intellect

And let your heart guide you.

Trust.

Believe in the incredible power

Of the human mind

Of doing something that makes a difference.

Of working hard

Of laughing and hoping

Of lasting friends

Of all the things that will cross your path.

Next year

The start of something new

Brings the hope of something great.

Anything is possible.

There is only one you

And you will pass this way but once.

Do it right.

Reasons I miss college

#BigKidProblems

Yes. I did just hashtag my blog post. I know you're probably thinking, this is Twitter, what are you doing. Well it's my blog and I'll hashtag as I see fit. #SorryNotSorry. I did it again.

So I have been an "adult" for about 6 weeks now. At the end of August, I moved out of my house and started a job in Hickory, NC, in the same town that I went to college in. Upside, I know a ton of people, I know the area, and I'm still close to "home." Downside, I'm not in college anymore which means that all of the fun and crazy things that I could do when I was in undergrad are no longer as excepted...

Things that you can do while in college that you can't do in the real world:

1. Take a nap at 2 p.m. Apparently napping is frowned upon in the workplace.
2. Drink until 2 a.m.
3. Do anything until 2 a.m. for that matter. My bed time is now 10 p.m. I'm like a grandparent.
4. Spend less than 5 minutes getting ready for the day. In college, I could literally wake up, throw on a bra and some pants and be good to go. In the real world, I actually have to care how I look. Bummer.
5. Sleep through a meeting/class. The real world isn't really up on "excused absences" unless it's directly medical related. Being hungover and just not showing up is not a legitimate excuse. You do not get three tries. You get one. It's called being fired.
6. Post negative things about your superiors (i.e. professors). Posting hurtful and ill-advised comments about your workplace or boss are cause for being fired. Most companies now have a social media policy. So that also means that those "totes presh pics" that your BFF posted of that night you don't remember are probably not a good idea either.
7. Have a fall break, spring break, winter break, and summer break. Yeah. You think those things are nice while you're in college? You'll REALLY miss them once you graduate.
8. See your friends whenever you want. When I want to visit my closest friends, there is either a lot of driving or even a plane trip involved. Paris, France, West Virginia, and Chicago are a long ways away from little ole Hickory.
9. Snap instead of clapping. Shout out to all my Greeks. You know what I'm saying. When someone speaks at a meeting and people applaud them, it's no longer cute and acceptable to snap. Fail.
10. Carry on a sexual relationship (i.e. one night stand) with multiple people you see frequently. Such as, the hot guys from accounting, IT, sales, distribution, and marketing. Yeah...it's not like college where it's somewhat expected/accepted. It's another thing that can get you fired. Most companies have policies against relationships in the workplace. (And for the record, this is not a practice that I had in college either...so if you're reading this Mom, don't freak out.)


College is definitely something that I miss. I realized this when I had to pay bills today, and when waking up at 6:30 became routine. Growing up is hard, but then again, it's also fun in its own way. For example:

1. I no longer have to buy coffee. Our office serves free Starbucks coffee all day, every day. Win.
2. I rarely have homework. Almost all of my assignments are completed during the day, or can be finished the next business day. One point for the real world.
3. I get paid. No one pays you to go to college. Quite the opposite. College is expensive. The real world pays you to be an adult. Even though I have bills, being paid to do something I am good at is sort of fun.
4. I only have to share my shower with the people that I want to share it with. No more dorm rooms, no more mini fridges, no more Ramen Noodles unless I actually want them.
5. Company-issued technology. Last time I checked, Lenoir-Rhyne wasn't giving out MacBook Pro's with the latest Adobe software, Toyotas, or iPhones. My company does.
6. An empty gym. My office has a gym in it, and it is usually empty. That means no one to hog the last treadmill, no one to compare yourself with, and no creepy people who watch you. Yeah. We all know someone like that, just admit it.
7. No more advisor. Let's just get real. We all knew a kid whose advisor tried to royally screw them in college. Heck, maybe some of you...or us...WERE that kid getting screwed. At my job now, my "advisor" is my boss and coworkers, and instead of trying to mess with me, they praise, encourage, and guide me. Now, that's not the same everywhere, but dang, when you have it, it sure is nice!
8. You can now drink with your professors. Oh yeah. It happens. I have a gathering with a former professor this Friday actually. Be jealous.
9. I don't have to buy office supplies. As much fun as back-to-school shopping was, I get that every time I get to go into the supply room. For free. As many #2 pencils as my heart desires. Plus white out, paper clips, staplers, hole punchers, notebook, pens, scissors, rulers, hand sanitizer, tissues, post it notes, notebooks...you get the point.
10. No one is encouraging you to go to Cookout at 3 a.m. Trust me. As much of a God-send as Cookout may seem now, when you look back and wonder how you got that Freshman 15 (or however much it was), Cookout probably had some, if not all, to do with it.

A phobia of phobias

I wonder if there is such thing as being afraid of a phobia...a phobia of phobias...(Googles...) Phobophobia. It’s sort of redundant, but conclusive. If you care scared of phobias, you have phobophobia and should probably stop reading this blog posting now...

If you have Allodoxaphobia, you shouldn't read my blog, because it is a fear of opinions.

Arachibutyrophobia is the fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth.

Alektorophobia is the fear of chickens. Hm...

Anthophobia is the fear of flowers...I think all of my boyfriends have had this...figures.

Chrematophobia is the fear of money...maybe my bank account has this...

Francophobia is the fear of France...are you kidding me?

Gymnophobia is the fear of nudity. I totally know someone who has this!

Lachanophobia is the fear of vegetables. Like attack of the killer salad?

Nephophobia is the fear of clouds. That's unfortunate.

Omphalophobia is the fear of belly buttons. How does this happen?! Just avoid looking down? Spend your whole life running away from your belly button?

Sitiophobia is the fear of eating or of food. I definitely don't have this. At all. Ever.

I found all of these on www.phobialist.com. If they are incorrect, I apologize. They are also not meant to offend anyone with any phobias...if you have a phobia, especially one listed above, I would LOVE to hear about it. For real.

So this brings my to my phobia. It's tied into a phobia that I will name later, but it is the fear of using a shower other than my own. No joke. When I was growing up, my shower was never used by anyone else but me. I was an only child and didn't share a bathroom until freshman year of college. My parents also had a huge shower, it had two shower heads and was probably 6ft by 6ft. Both of our showers had large windows above them as well as an additional overhead light.

My fear began when I was probably...eight or nine? I was traveling with my family and my god father to his girlfriend's house on the west coast of Florida. It was an island beach house complete with an outdoor shower and view of the water. I loved it. Well, until I had to use the shower inside. Mom and I had gone to the beach and come back later than normal. The outdoor shower didn't really have a light, so mom forced me to shower inside. Now let me describe a bit about the indoor shower. It was in a small bathroom with very little light. Downside number one. It also had a black shower curtain/liner. Downside number two. It had no overhead light and was confined to a very small space. Downside number three. So this is before I realized my fear, so I got in the shower, washed my hair, etc. When I got out, I reached for the towels on the counter, which were also black. Not good. So as I grab a towel, I hear a "plunk" sound. Note to self. Hearing "plunk" in the bathroom is never a good sign. So I didn't really think about it until I wrapped the towel around myself and the "plunk" skittered across my foot. Yeah. Plunks can skitter, because the plunk was a cockroach that was on my towel, and then on my foot. Needless to say there was a lot of screaming and half-naked running around. Oh, and in Florida, cockroaches can fly. They're called palmetto bugs. Wrap your head around that, why don't you. Katsaridaphobia just got taken to a whole new level. By the way, that is the fear of cockroaches.

So anyway. Ever since that day, I have had an irrational fear of showers. What has been in them, what IS in them other than me, the shower curtain liner being dirty and touching me...it's just not a fun event. So, the bottom line being, if you plan on inviting me over and there is a need for me to shower, make sure you use bleach and remove anything remotely dirty or creepy. And for heavens sake, watch out for plunks!

Dear Netflix...

I just subscribed to Netflix, literally 5 minutes ago. The first thing that I did was try and watch NCIS, because I'm obsessed. Oh? NCIS isn't on instant streaming and I have to pay an additional $7.99 each month in order to have the DVDs sent to me? So I try for The Big Bang Theory, probably my second favorite show. Oh? That one isn't available either without ordering the DVDs?

Why, Netflix? Why? I'm incredibly disappointed in your lack of ability to offer my favorite television shows. True, I should have checked the availability beforehand, but considering the widespread popularity of these two shows, I assumed (I know, ass of u and me) that they would be available on one of the biggest streaming websites online. If I would have known that I would have to pay an additional fee to see them, I would have just continued to watch them illegally online or subscribed to Hulu.

Thanks for listening, and maybe Netflix will visit this small, unpopular blog and WHAM! Give me what I want...maybe not.