I'm Not Unemployed...I'm Retired

That's what I've started telling people. It's rather sad actually. Fortunately, unemployment has a few upsides.

• I get to read as many Janet Evanovich books as I want on my Kindle
• Extra time to practice my cooking skills
• No piles of dirty laundry
• I always have time to vacuum
• My alarm clock no longer has a use past reminding me to take my birth control

Unfortunately, it also comes with a few downsides, such as money and a way to get rid of feeling like a complete failure. 

For those of you who are new readers (yeah...right) I'm Amanda, and I'm currently obsessed with reading Janet Evanovich books. If you have any thoughts about what book to read next, please pick up one of hers, because they are absolutely hilarious. Start at number one, One for the Money. This whole spiel has a point, just so you know. 

I've decided that I want to be a bond enforcement agent, also known as a bounty hunter. Unfortunately, I don't want to be just any bounty hunter. I want to be Stephanie Plum. Considering the fact that I am unemployed, I have quite an ample amount of time to think about how much I want to be her. Not in a creepy way, come on now. Who wouldn't want to be a bad-ass bounty hunter? Okay so the occasional shooting and explosions I may not like too much, and lord knows I am attached to my car, but really. You have to admit the similarities, mainly my grandmother. Lord knows I love her, but good lord. She's an absolute nut cake. Barely 5 feet tall on a good day and full of Boston attitude, Gram has a tendency to think that she's invincible. Add the fact that I'm terrified of guns, hate running, and have a tendency to have crazy things happen in my life, and I think I'm in the running. 

So anyway. If anyone has any job suggestions or leads, I would appreciate the leads. Considering the lady I sat next to on the plane back from Florida was encouraging exotic dancing (mom wasn't exactly thrilled on that one...) I think that anything is better than that. 

If all else fails and I can't be Stephanie Plum, I want to be Janet Evanovich. A woman who writes to her hearts content and just happens to be one of the most popular crime authors of our time? Stick a fork in me, I'm done. 

Check out the links below to connect with Janet Evanovich and please read some of her stuff. It's FANTASTIC! (Here's a hint: In book 10, you get to read about a school bus-driving drag queen who was packing an uzi instead of an AK-47 because it fit under the seat better...how 'bout THOSE apples)

Amazon Profile

@janetevanovich