Country Roads, Take Me Home, To The Place I Belong

This is a bit more off the wall than the posts that I normally write. Or at least the beginning is going to be, so please bear with me for a moment.

I never remember my dreams anymore unless they are nightmares, so when I woke up in the middle of the night last night and could remember my dream that I had just had in its entirety, it was a pretty cool feeling. It was also a pretty amusing dream.

Basically, I was driving on the roads back home where I went to high school, up in the mountains of western North Carolina. I think at the beginning I was driving, and at the same time, I was trying to cook pasta. I'm not sure how this really fits in, but it was what was happening. So the next thing I know, my dad is driving, and I'm sitting in the passenger seat. I can't remember if I was still cooking pasta or not. Oh well. So as we come around a sharp corner, there is a truck that is stuck and can't get around the curve. My dad, the nice guy that he is, pulls over and tells the man directing the truck that a family friend of ours owns the land where the truck is stuck, and that if he gave him a call, he could help him out. The man looked at my dad, told him, very rudely, that he didn't need his or anyone else's help, and waved us on. As we were driving away, I mouthed the word "asshole" at the guy. My dad, being more of a quiet and reserved person in situations like that, got mad at me for responding the way that I did. My response, and the point of this story, was simple. "But dad, that's just not the SOUTHERN way of talking to people," referring to the man who was rude.

Now, let me make something perfectly clear. I can't really call myself Northern or Southern. My family history in terms of geography is a bit...muddy. Mom and her entire family are basically from up "Noth" in Massachusetts. Gram, my mom's mom, still has her Northern accent and probably will until the day she dies (which, considering the fact that she's 82 and still works 5 days a week, sings in the church choir, goes on cruises, and walks on her treadmill all the time, is not going to be any time soon). Dad on the other hand, was born in San Diego, California, moved to Key West, Florida, then to Jacksonville, Florida, and finally settled in Boca Raton, Florida. The life of a Navy brat at its best. Dad's mother hails from the land of peaches and magnolia trees, Rome, Georgia, while his father's family was raised in Connecticut. I was born in south Florida and raised in the mountains of North Carolina.

Long story short, my accent is a complete disaster. When I'm trying to slap on the charm, it's Southern. When I'm angry, it's as good as being born and bred in Boston. So why, suddenly, do I feel the need to identify myself with no conscious thought, as a Southerner? Don't get me wrong, I love the South and the people here. The men are sweet and the tea is sweeter. Everyone waves and says 'Hello.' When someone asks how you're doing, they actually want to know. And we have grits. What is a grit, anyway? (Whole other post, dude. Whole. Other. Post.)

I guess it's because, in the back of my mind, I know where I belong. The South. Capital S, o-u-t-h, South. I say y'all and I know what it means. I know who to go to if I ever find myself craving biscuits and gravy, true Southern grits (okay, so I eat them with heaps of sugar, leave me alone...), and straight from the woods venison...Google it.

My Southern Home: 

Main Street. The trucks parked on the right? If you tell someone you'll meet them on Main Street, that's where you're parking. Right there. Or in front of Loafers Bench.

I know these roads like the back of my hand...they bring me home. 

The Main Street Inn. We had Prom there my....senior year? Junior year? Senior year I think. Anyway, there it is. 

A continuation of Main Street during the summer months. How can I tell? Lots of pricey cars. 

Home. Whiteside Mountain. My house is off to the left in the valley. THIS is where I come home to. 

Homo...Sapiens

I kinda tricked you there, didn't I? You read the first part and was like, oooh here she goes talking about gays again. Well guess what. You're right.

I love gay people, or what I prefer to call them, people. One of my recent blogs was about a school teacher who was pressuring members of her community to form a "traditional" prom committee and hold a prom for couples made up of members of the opposite sex (one male, one female) to attend instead of attending their high school prom which was allowing same-sex couples to attend together openly.

Let me make my point perfectly clear. You may not like my blog, you may not even like me. You may think that I'm going to Hell for condoning (and downright advocating for) equality for ALL PEOPLE. If that's the case, that's fine. You can hate me and my blog all day long. You don't have to read it. And that's all I'm going to say about that.

I'm a fairly straight-foward person. When I have a question or an opinion, chances are you're going to know about it fairly quickly. When I was setting up my website for my new business the other day, Brian noticed that I had a picture of myself featured on my "About Me" section that he thought I may want to change. The picture in question is the one below:

When I asked why he thought I should change it, he stated that we were in the South, and potential customers might find my opinion "offensive" and choose not to use my company. Now, I would like to make it perfectly clear that I agree with Brian. There is a good chance that someone is going to be offended by my photo and choose not to use my design service because of my personal opinions. The best part, however, is that I don't care. 

My name is Amanda, and I am STRAIGHT AGAINST HATE. Some people skirt around topics that they think others may find awkward. I however, embrace awkwardness. For example, some people have questions that they are too embarrassed to ask someone for fear of what the other person may think about them. Prime example. I was surfing Pinterest the other day and realized that the majority of people on my Pinterest feed were women who were planning their grown-up lives of the future: the perfect house, the perfect husband, the perfect children, the perfect wardrobe. So I asked myself, hm...I wonder if lesbians like Pinterest as much as straight women. For some, this thought may pose a problem. What is the best way to ask someone without offending them? How about straight forward? 

It took me less than 30 seconds to ask my friend Ally - a confident, beautiful, athletic, smart woman who happens to be gay - my question. Her answer was straightforward and she thought it was hilarious that I asked her that. 

Our world is changing, and in my opinion, it is changing for the better. More and more people wake up each day with the realization that being gay defines you only as much as you let it. When I look at my friends I don't see them with a giant label that says GAY or STRAIGHT on their forehead. I see an athlete, an artist, a gamer, a teacher, a mentor, a son, a daughter, a boyfriend, a girlfriend, a best friend, a Christian, a leader, a musician, an actor, a dancer, a singer, and most importantly, an equal. 

I'm not asking everyone to suddenly wake up tomorrow and see the world through my eyes. I know that isn't possible. I am, however, asking you to wake up each day with a more accepting view of others than you had the day before. Changing the world starts one day at a time, one person at a time. I am a firm believer in the It Gets Better Project, a group helping to unite and encourage LGBT youth that things really do get better. The teasing and taunting, name calling, malicious tricks and games that our LGBT youth are constantly subjected to is unjust, unfair, and unnecessary.  It happens everywhere. In every town, neighborhood, community, church, school, playground, and workplace. Many people choose to ignore it, but personally, I can't. LGBT youth have one of the highest rates of suicide in the world, simply because they feel alone, unwanted, unloved, and misunderstood.

YOU can help change that one day and one person at a time. The next time you're around your friends and one of them calls something "gay," stand up for what you know is right and tell them to get a dictionary. When you see a kid being bullied for trying to be themselves, step in and offer words of encouragement instead of turning a blind eye and walking away. YOU can be the difference in someone's life.

The Day With The Big Red Heart

Valentines Day. I feel as though everyone is black and white on this topic. You either love it or you hate it. There really isn't a middle ground. Most people assume that everyone in a relationship automatically likes Valentine's Day. False. I do not like Valentines Day, nor am I single.

I would like to go ahead and state that I do have an incredible Daddy and Grandma who sent me chocolate truffles from Godiva (Dad) and a lovely card (Gram) for Valentine's Day. Neither of them sent the items specifically on Valentine's Day, so it was just a nice surprise to come home to one day.

Okay so here is my unfrequent blog rant. I actually hope that you'll stick around for this one, because I really would like to have a few opinions on whether or not I'm crazy. Not that I care what you think...but still. (Humor, guys. Like "hahaha") Moving on.

What is the honest point of Valentine's Day? You go out to dinner and spend silly amounts of money on chocolate, candy, flowers, stuffed animals and cards for a holiday that was originally started by an imprisoned religious saint. That is romantic in what way exactly? Well, it's romantic by the standards of the greeting card companies, people who make chocolate, the creators of stuffed bears, and florists because they make a crap ton of money off of it.

Now, I realize that there are a lot of you out there who are thinking, dang, something really bad must have happened to this girl on Valentine's Day one year for her to be this negative. Actually, the opposite is true. Let me break down my thinking for you.

Some people will argue that Valentine's Day is the day that you are supposed to show your love to your significant other. Oh, I'm sorry. So you only do that once a year? The last time I checked, that was supposed to be every day. As for the chocolate, flowers, stuffed animals and all that stuff. Why? This year, Brian and I didn't do anything special for Valentine's Day. I actually went out and babysat and didn't really spend any time with him. However, that's okay because it's Valentine's Day, not our anniversary, not a birthday or a special occasion. Who wants to spend tons of money on sending flowers (that you could just have easily gone to Costco, Sams Club, Lowe's Foods, Publix, Ingles, etc. and picked up for WAY cheaper) and going out to a fancy dinner?

Of course you have the girls who are reading this thinking, But it's SO romantic! No. No it is not. Spending over $100 on something stupid like jewelry, flowers, chocolate, and dinner is not romantic. Making a handmade card and writing how much you appreciate your significant other just because? THAT is romantic. Coming home to no dirty dishes in the sink, the floor vacuumed, the laundry done, or dinner cooked simply because your boyfriend or girlfriend knows you've had a rough day? To me, that's ten times more romantic than shelling out money for some generic dinner and chocolate.

I guess I can attribute my up-bringing to my feelings towards generic love holidays. I was always one of the guys. I didn't date in middle or high school. I wasn't the popular girl, on homecoming court, prom queen, a cheerleader, or a star athlete. I was always the one guys turned to for advice about girls, and never the recipient of anything special when it came to Valentine's Day. I have seen so many girls treat perfectly nice guys like trash because they weren't fulfilling what the girl thought was acceptable boyfriend behavior. I've also seen people shell out way too much money on expensive gifts, jewelry, dinners, etc. for a significant other who didn't deserve any of the attention they were being given.

Gifts aren't everything. Someone who can't buy you an expensive present must find other ways to show their love, and those are the ones that are truly worth keeping around. A man who spends $12 on chocolate roses that his students are selling to benefit their school and then gives them to you as you walk together on your way to chaperone the Valentine's dance? That's a guy worth keeping.

You can't put a price on love, so don't bother trying. At the end of the day, it's how you feel about your significant other that counts. Find someone who accepts you for who you are...who hugs you when you're sad, laughs at the stories that you've told ten or more times, and lets you lay on the floor and cuddle with their leg while they're sitting at the computer playing League of Legends because you're sick and you took cough medicine with hydrocodone in it and you feel high as a kite.

Happy Sunday, guys.

What Is Your Purpose In Life?

I know that it has been way too long since I have blogged. Things have been so crazy in Amanda-land that I haven't had time to breathe lately. Just a quick update: I started my own business (Amanda Grace Design, and yes we are on Facebook!) and have been ridiculously busy promoting and establishing clients and such.

A friend of mine shared this with me this morning, and it really made me realize how instrumental teachers are in the lives of children. I not only date a teacher, but I am very good friends with a large number of educators, including an Exceptional Children teacher. I think that this article speaks for itself, so I will let you read it. When you're done, please continue reading my post, because I have a few things to add.

Indiana Teacher vs. LGBT Students

Change.org Petition

As everyone who has read one of my blogs before knows, I love everyone. I don't judge based on your race, skin color, religion or lack-there-of, and especially, their sexual orientation, which is why this article truly upsets me. 

As a teacher, you're supposed to support and encourage all of your students, not just the ones that you happen to agree with. It's one thing to state that you don't agree with people who are gay. It's a completely different situation entirely to respond, when asked if she thought that gays had a purpose in life, "“I don’t. I personally don’t. I’m sorry. I just — I don’t understand it… A gay student or adult or person isn’t going to come up isn’t going to come up and make some change, unless it’s because they realize, ‘You know what? It was a choice and I’m choosing God.’”

Wait, what? I'm sorry, you don't think that people who are LGBT have a purpose in life? Someone needs to stand up and inform Mrs. Medley that passing judgment is not the job of earthly beings, and is instead reserved for when we ascend into the next life. We were all created equal, but we were not all created the same. I'm sorry if this is something that is beyond the comprehension of Mrs. Medley, but I certainly hope that her bigotry, hatred, and downright rudeness is not beyond the comprehension of the Sullivan County, Indiana school board, her fellow teachers, her principal, her neighbors, and her family. 

Lord knows I'm not, and have never claimed to be, a perfect Christian. However, I do have to say that the one area that I will never fall short in is loving thy neighbor as thyself. 

Each person that we encounter in life deserves to be treated with respect, decency, love, kindness, and equality. So today when I sit down to eat dinner, I will add a moment of prayer not only for the students of Mrs. Medley, but for Mrs. Medley herself. May God allow her to open her eyes, heart, and mind to the reality of our world, and to accept others for the way that God created them, whether she agrees with Him or not. 

Amen.